No Music Tonight

I don't have the music playing. I got some shit on my mind and music will only eat away at it now.

Tell me something important. How manys times does a person have to get fucked over before they should go ahead, get mad, reach out, and bitch slap someone who deserves it? Not just any bitch slap either... It should sting one's very existance. But... petty little games will get you nowhere. Life is better if remembered this way.

Okay..no bitch slapping happened here. Never found out who put the Kyro Syrup in my gas tank, but thus is life. I got over it. Everyone thinks I should bow down, forgive and forget. Okay.. this time its done. Poof!

Every Delightful Drop

If only I could remember every word you've ever said to me.
If I could recall them each I would repeat them constantly.
I would tattoo my body with your thoughts, and be covered.

I have drowned in your voice, and it saved me from death.
I taste your energy, I feel no hunger.
The touch of your honest soul has purified my core.

If I could remember every word you've said to me,
I would crawl into my head just to hear it all again.

Tied and bound, gagged and choked, shaking and scared.
I have given you my soul, my insides, without guilt.
You hold my life in your hands and I will die without you.
I will know what purity is with a wicked, torn soul.
I will die like a virgin floating on her own orgasm.

You have devoured my tears and made them wine.
There is only your love to control my chaos.
Only your laughter to lull me from my endless sleep.

Oh, if only I could remember all those words.

To: Him, to You, to Us, to Me.

Being Me Again...

Been in this small town. Simple people with simple ways.
People judging others for what they wish they were brave enough to be.

Changing for others is not being true to me.

I was encircled by darkness, eager to find light.

Forever trying to find me.

All along I was in the wrong place at the right time.

Two years past and lessons learned.

Dropped it that day.

Dancing in circles without music.

Many men gone thru. Many tears fall off swollen cheeks.
Energy wasted on what was never meant to be.

Torn in pieces for the last time.

Love given without regard to the art of soulmates.

Stolen memories that should have never been.

Healthy burdens make it alright.
Much too bright~eyed for these simple souls.

Dark angels hanging from the ceiling lighting my way to the darkness.

Horses thundered above.

No more suffering in this realm.
Gonna find a love thats gonna last.
Going to grow my hair down to my knees.

Gonna sing at my lungs full capacity.
Gonna get off the ground and fly.

Gonna dance with the music full blast.

Can you hear me growing?

Leaving your simplicities behind, I won't forget the glare in your eyes.
Write my life story. Write about my tears and breakdowns.

Leave out the small town villians? Not a chance.

Goodbye to this life.

You have created a monster who is able to leave it all behind.
Thank you simple minded people in this simple town.

Thanks for reminding to be me again.

Magicians and their Bears....

Movin. Headed to the desert. What will they all say? Nevermind what they all say they think. What do you really think. lol. Don't bullshit yourself into thinking I am laughing. It's not a laughing matter.

I heard I am moving, climbing, loving again. I'd be in seizures for you. Only my distance from you will be reclaimed. Horses haunt my rejections. Black and white ones glaring into my flesh from the inside. It's familiar, like singing while thinking of you. Happy.

Hopefilled. Maybe thats all it takes. Hope. Sky blue drops of eyes, your eyes witness that my life is worthy. It needs observation, this thing.

I let go and forgive...

...Undeniably Forgiveable.
What was I thinkin'

Standin in line waitin

Waitin for some boots to lick.

I live for the nightmares

Opinionless and breathin shallow

As I fell there I ruptured myself so easily clinging, stretching, stuck and consumed by your darkness. Once upon a time scared, not tonight, not here, not ashamed lips are willing to spill juices upon dark colored sheets.

So there it was all along

Consuming ~ in past times ~ teaching a lost one

Threathened only by suggestion of no

Hearing voices tremble for me

Singing at the top of my lungs.

Screaming my name out to you.

Footsteps

I don't really know where I am headed.
I see a distant crossroads sign up ahead.
Which way does one travel when you've
never made that decision before?
How do you know it's time to move on?
How do you understand that maybe the
crossroad will lead you back to the roads
you traveled long ago?
It seems to me a change is needed.
Yet change is the one constant in my life.
Have I become stagnate?
Have I become to fragile for adventure?
Have I allowed myself to grow complacent?
Lazy? Tired? Lonely? Helpless?
And if I chose a different life... will it be a
better life?
Which way do I go? How do you know?